The Most Terrifying Test... Ever

2 hours

4-5 courses

menu must be presented within the first 20 minutes

mystery basket ingredients

all 4 proteins must be used

And that, my friends, was our final practical exam in Culinary III. Holy guacamole, batman. It was terrifying. And when I say terrifying, I mean I woke up at 5:00 am when I didn't have to be up until 7:45. Yay.

My time started at 9:00 am, so, naturally, I had my apron and hat on at 8:30. I waited by the kitchen door until Chef said I could begin. When I walked into the kitchen, none of my classmates were smiling. In fact, they looked stressed, vomit-y, and constipated. Not a confidence booster, let me tell you.

So, I went to my station and checked out my mystery tray. We had a various assortment of veggies (leeks, tomatoes, etc.), fruits (apples and pears) and four proteins (you know, those ones that we HAVE to use): yellowfin tuna, rack of lamb, chicken, and teres major (a tender cut of beef).

I wrote my menu with a shaking but confident hand, and went to work! And here, ladies and gents, is what I accomplished in those two hours (slightly interrupted by a fire alarm...):

Appetizer: Lebanese lamb meat pie seasoned with onions, cumin, and cinnamon served with grilled onions, olive oil, and a fresh mint sprig.


Salad: Seared yellowfin tuna with morrocan carot salad

Entree: Double entree with curried grilled chicken and teres major with zucchini ribbons and rice pilaf

And, the course that got me an A- .....

Dessert: Poached pear turnover with a sticky cinnamon sauce and spiced wine

Oh, you wanted to see another angle? Fine...

So, I'm done. No, not with this class, with EVERYTHING! I am now Chef Bland. HOLY CRAP. Sorry, it's exciting times! I still plan to post yummy culinary creations... and try to be better about doing it more often (mari = slacker face).

Thanks for going on the journey with me!

~ Chef Bland ;)

Oysters, Quickfires, and Coconut Rum

It's been a while... I'll admit. But, I've been mighty productive since my last post. Classes are getting more and more intense, but they are also getting more and more fun. This semester we are (finally) getting to use some exciting ingredients: caviar, lobster, venison, quail, etc. And here are Lanna and I (below), after shucking about 8 dozen oysters. We are just glowing with pride (and sweat...).

And there we are... working up that sweat. It was the first time that either of us had every schucked an oyster, and the guys in the class wanted to do it (because, obviously, guys are better at everything). But, we signed up for it at the beginning and dangit... we were gonna shuck some oysters. So, we got to shuck them in the front of the house for the Seafood Festival at school.



In Garde Manger class, we got to do a Top Chef "Quickfire" of sorts. We were told to make a sandwich (as a group), and so this is what we made:

Yum... it is basically a brunch sandwich made with cinnamon swirl french toast, sliced strawberries, deep fried bananas, and pecan honey cream cheese.

Then in European Cakes & Tortes, my partner, Megan, and I made vanilla chiffon cake with coconut rum and white chocolate whipped filling and a coconut rum and white chocolate glaze. The sides are covered in shredded coconut... and then covered in browned swiss meringue. Finally, I sifted cocoa powder through a handmade stencil over the top and made chocolate flowers to cover the edges.

They might look a litte crazy, but they were fun to make! I wish I could have tasted them... I definitely tasted each component seperately and... damn. They were good.

So, at least I've done some fun things since I haven't been writing much. Sometimes things get a little hectic, but mostly, life is good. Just a little fast-paced.

P.S. I just purchased "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" by Julia Child. Don't worry, I don't plan on cooking through the book or anything. I just am excited to have it... it gives me the warm fuzzies.

Two-Week Recap

Who knew? When you take 21 hours at culinary school... time to blog is pretty scarce. Heck - time to poop is pretty scarce. But, so you don't feel left out of my high-paced, food-driven life, here is what you've missed:

1. Garde Manger (the art of the cold kitchen): We carved veggies. Below is a pictures of me and my apple bird. I know... precious.


Here he is!



2. European Cakes & Tortes: As it turns out, I like everything European except for their tortes. Well, so far. We've made sponge cake (the picture below is of Megan and I with our lovely little sponge cakes... we were proud), Blitz tortes, and another torte that I can't remember.

3. Artisan Breads: I am loving this class. Bread is... well... the staff of my life. :) Below are the baguettes we made. YUM.

This is some yummy stuffed Challah bread. Again with the YUM.

And here is my favorite... Pirate Bread! Arghhhh...YUM.

A successful and stressful first two weeks. Whew!

A Bottomless French Tart (don't get too excited)

This is obviously not how I wanted to spend my Friday. I had a vision: I would make a beautiful French tart that would be fairly simple to make and taste divine. Sadly, my vision was slightly askew. The depressing mistake in the photo above was because I (in my infinite wisdom) thought that pie weights were rather silly. I thought, why not just use the bottom of another tart pan to keep it from rising? Brilliant! So, I put it in the oven, waited the 15 minutes, took it out when it was golden brown and beautiful... and then... oh dear. It was dreadful. The bottom was raw! Sad day. And so, I did it the right way.



There they are... little tartlets. With the much needed pie weights. And here is what they ended up looking like. I was quite pleased with the end result (they were delicious, I might add), but the getting there was a bit rough.

There's Something About Pesto

It makes me happy. Pesto is, by far, my favorite pasta sauce. I'm not sure if it's the large amount of basil or the large amount of cheese (or perhaps the combination of both?) that gets me, but for a great pesto I get weak in the knees.

And this, my friends, is a great pesto:

Great Pesto

Yield: 32 oz.

8 oz. basil leaves
10 oz. pine nuts
1 oz. garlic, mashed to a paste
½ oz. salt
8-16 oz. olive oil
8 oz. grated Parmesan

Toast the pine nuts before you start getting into "Pesto Mode." They will be much better that way.


Rinse the basil leaves well, dry, and coarsely chop. Transfer a handful into a food processor.

Pulse for a few seconds (until it makes room for another handful). Do this until all of the basil fits into the food processor.

Add pine nuts, garlic, and salt and pulse for a few seconds. Add oil gradually until it forms a thick paste.

Taste and adjust seasoning with salt. Stir in the parmesan.*

*If you plan on heating the pesto at all (microwaving leftovers, etc.), I recommend that you not stir in the cheese. Just add it in later as needed. If you heat pesto, the cheese will melt and become rubbery…not a good thing to have.

VOILA! Now you have a delicious pesto (32 oz. of it to boot!) to eat with pasta, crackers, or just in a spoon.

I hope you enjoy it! I've found that it's pretty darn fool-proof.

Mari

The First Supper

I've been delinquent in my blogging duties becuase I have been gallavanting around the keys and such. It was a blast and I ate more friend sweet plantains than I can count (they are my favorite), but now I am back... at my house. Yes, my HOME. So exciting to have our own home! Ryan and I are ridiculously excited. So, I took photos of our first meal in the house. I realize this is not very exciting to most, but we were pretty well pleased with our selves.

P.S. Don't tell my teachers about the bottled salad dressings, lettuce from a bag, or tomato sauce in a jar.

Mari

Making the Markouk

Markouk (mar-kook) is a Lebanese paper-thin flatbread that my grandmother and great-aunt used to help their mother make when they were little girls. When my great-aunt comes to visit over the holidays, she usually brings four or five bags of it with her. Shocker, I know, but no one in Sevier County, TN sells Markouk. And if they did, whoever bought it would probably be lynched for being a "terrorist." Gotta love the G-burg.

Anywho, since our Markouk indulgences are few and far between, Mom and I decided we should figure out how to make it. And, since I'm in "Advanced Baking," we thought we could ask Chef Hallman (the omniscient) if she knew how to make it. Of course, she didn't let us down. And here is what we made today, on our last day of Advanced Baking...

Ladies and Gents... Markouk. Sevier County style.

Ingredients:

3 tsp. instant dry yeast
2 tbsp. sugar
2.5 cups warm water
7 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. salt

First, combine the flour with the yeast and mix in an electric mixer on low speed (with the dough-hook paddle). Next, add in the rest of your ingredients into the mixing bowl.

(NOTE: When adding "warm" water to any baking recipe, test the water with your finger before you add it. If it feels warm to you (warmer than your body temperature) it is much too hot for the dough and you will start the cooking process to soon. If it feels like your cheek (feel free to feel your cheek... haha), it is the perfect temperature - around 98.6 degrees F).


Mix on medium speed until it becomes a dough glob. As it spins in the bowl, it will pick up the excess flour on the sides.



Once it looks like dough (it will be a fairly stiff dough), cover it with plastic wrap and let it sit at room temperature until it doubles in size (for the amount of dough in the pictures, it took about 30-45 minutes to ferment).

When it has doubled, dump the dough out onto a lightly floured work space and "punch" it. No, don't hit it with your fist, just stretch it a little and fold the four "corners" underneath until it looks like a smooth ball. Let it rest for five minutes (aka: leave it alone, on the counter).

After the dough rests, divide it into 2 oz. balls. Then flatten each dough ball with your hand, roll it out with a rolling pin, and stretch it with your hands. Honestly, do whatever you possibly can to get it flat and even. If it gets stiff and hard to work with, let it rest again. Dough is quite temperamental when it comes to being poked, prodded, and stretched.

Once they are rolled out, put them on a sheet pan and layer parchment paper between each layer of dough discs.

Now, ladies and gents, comes the fun part. Toss them around! It's great fun, I promise. But, if you are uncoordinated like me, don't be too upset if you lose a few to the floor.

Onto how to cook these bad boys... Traditionally, Markouk is cooked on a heated metal dome. We, however, did not have a fancy Middle Eastern heated metal dome for cooking Lebanese bread, so we made due with what we did have: a Wok. And hot damn if it didn't work like a charm. We just oiled the back of a Wok, put it over a flame (a burner would do just fine), and went to town!

I know that the photo above shows Lanna using tongs... don't use tongs. It rips them to shreds and is quite awkward. Instead, use your fingers to flip the bread once it cooks on one side. But, be careful! Woks are thin and get super duper hot!

As they cook on the Wok bottom (hehe), the will bubble and brown. Yum! Just use your judgment to decide when they are to your liking.

And would you look at that! Fresh, homemade, Lebanese bread in the hills of Sevier County. If you'd told me this would be happening yesterday, I wouldn't have believed you. So, if you are intrigued, I suggest you try it! They were delicious. You can eat them plain, sprinkle them with salt, brush them with butter, or use them to dip into Hummus or some delicious dip. Enjoy making your Markouk! I know we did!

- Mari